9/30/09

Nothing to do with Knitting today. FACEBOOK, My SINGLE Mistake, and a little RANTING TODAY!!


I'm very troubled today.

I was updating my profile on Facebook, when I accidentally rolled my mouse across the "Relationship Status."

I proceeded to fill in some new info on myself, and looked up to see I had erroneously scrolled the Single into the category.

So, glad I had caught the error - leaving it there would put several people who know us into a state of shock!!
I got the error fixed by clicking on the down arrow for that selection field.

THIS LIST OF OPTIONS CAME UP

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:

Single
In a Relationship
Engaged
Married
It's Complicated
In an Open Relationship
Widowed

WHAT??
Here are my additions to the FACEBOOK list:

undecided
wavering
uncommitted
not telling
none of your business
experimenting
hoping
wondering
wandering
imagining
dreaming
narrowed down t
o 2 or 3
Now, I realize that I was born in the first half of the previous century ...

but am I the only one that has a problem with these choices.

There was a time when this information was collected on just about every printed form imaginable, resume's, hospital registration forms, applications, school records, loans, yet, there were only 3 choices. Single, Married, or Widowed (or in most cases going way back: Single or Married).

I know, I know, I'm way behind the times, and my Judeo-Christian beliefs are showing, but when did all these options come into play.

Why can't some of these fall into the same category.

Like are you single when you're engaged - or widowed?

Are you married or engaged when "It's Complicated," and does that invite the onslaught of dating services?

Does an Open Relationship mean just that, not married, not single, not engaged, not widowed, not complicated, just OPEN, open to what?


I guess that having lived as long as I have, building trust in a marriage relationship for over 42 years causes me pause to what in the world is happening in America.

Making personal commitments to my spouse, children, and acquaintances to take integrity seriously, with God's help and His strength, I plan to be married until I'm widowed, or Dead! Doesn't that sound like one of the vows we make in the marriage ceremony?

Sure I've made tons of mistakes and there have been many times where I've had to talk it through and been called upon to forgive. There were times that leaving would've been the easiest thing to do, and times when hanging on to the marriage for the sake of ... you fill in the blanks, but working through it solidified not just our relationship but a legacy to leave for those we love, and those who love us. It's been worth all the work. Yep, I'm saying we're in this for ourselves, for each other, and WE ARE IN IT FOR THOSE WHO ARE HOPING BEYOND ALL HOPE that they can make marriage work too. IT IS WORK!! I'm at a place in my life where I've seen enough to be able to evaluate this pretty well. Most marriages fail because one or both of the spouses simply aren't into the work it takes, they'd rather ... again, you fill in the blanks.

Here's the deal. We go to someone Legal, make a bunch of promises, usually, but not always, in a church or religious setting, or at least a judge, we have witnesses and some people sign some papers, repeat some VOWS, file the papers with the state, and start our lives, then we decide ...

The decision becomes, "Do I want to change, compromise my selfishness and be a good spouse, parent, etc. etc. or do I want to stay like I am, selfish, then get everything my way?"

I know, I really do, that there are times when a spouse becomes a louse, and when a relationship ends up being destructive, and everyone has to take a hard look at their options, but I venture to guess that the majority of the "it's complicated," responses come from wanting more - a lack of contentment, or as we old-timers call it "selfishness."

Have I seen the vicious cycle in my 60+ years? Yep, someone caught in that cycle goes to their Facebook account, fills in Relationship Status as "It's Complicated," since the vows aren't really working out, then calls it Single, then probably gets engaged (again) and has to change it again, until one of these spouses dies and finally calls it widowed, ... but eventually it'll be single again, so does this mean the safest way to get off this rediculous roller coaster of relationship is to put "In an Open Relationship" and just forget it?

Then one can be SO OPEN MINDED THEIR BRAINS FALL OUT!! What good are ya without brains?



Sample Wedding Vows:

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.


I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.


2 comments:

Traci said...

AMEN!! LOL

Andrea said...

oog-a-loog!

U are ramped UP!

That was fun to read :)

(and...I don't think we really WANT to know what an "open" marriage is "open" too...ick)

:*)

Andrea

You can buy this poster.